Flabby

I have been finding such joy in the time I have spent recently with my friend Susan and my mother-in-law as we try to get together to walk several times each week.  However, this is not a dieting, or fitness, or, go me I'm on the move sort of post.  This post is about the culture I find myself in.
 
On average I have about 10 different kiddos that come and go from my home each week.  I also have one who lives with me all of the time. On Wednesday evenings I have the privilege to brush shoulders with 30-45 kiddos at Kids Club.  This gives me a front row seat to some of the troubled situations young people are facing today.  I would be hard pressed to come up with a list of 5 of these kids who are with their complete biological families. If you work with children at all, I am sure that you have experienced these sorts of numbers yourself.

This particular post may seem a bit preachy or rant-y however, the flabbiness reared it's ugly head in my home just last night so, I thought I'd process a little by writing out my thoughts.  I would love any feed back or ideas about how I can respond rather then react to "flabbiness" in the children who I come in contact with on a daily basis...    

I sense a flabbiness in our culture.  It seems to me that people are watching TV, playing video games, and entertaining themselves to the extent that not only are they suffering; so are their kiddos!  This breaks my heart!  I see it in the glazed over eyes of the kids that I come in contact with, in their unkempt appearance, and in their "slouchy" mannerisms.  When did it become ok for children to continually make bodily noises, refer to any and every body part, and not return pleasantries when spoken to?

The reason I think of this as flabbiness is because it seems like all of the afore mentioned items stem from the same activities that cause flabbiness of the body.  However, our world is dealing with a flabbiness of the mind and heart.  I fear that our culture is headed swiftly to the "non-talking beasts" that C.S. Lewis refers to in his Chronicles of Narnia series. 

The Bible talks about how the word is sharper than a two sided sword.  It seems to me, that all the world can wiled is a butter knife, if they feel like it.  I want to be on the Bible side.  I want to fight against this flabbiness at every turn!    





         

Spring

I finally got my picture today. The one that I hope to get every spring. It was a picture of the bright yellow daffodils with a slight dusting of snow. I love this sight . It shows hope to me. It shows that even when the circumstances of the weather don’t match the beautiful blossoms that they can still live to see another day. I’m glad that our Heavenly Father see us as well. He knows our circumstances. And yet He helps us to see beauty in the midst of rough spots. Thank you Father for beauty in the midst of unusual times!

Just 10 This Time

I love my husband because...

 

1. He is a godly man!
2. He is a great parent to Felix!
3. He cares about me! 
4. He is very humorous!
5. He is well respected at his job!
6. The kids at kids club adore him!
7. He provides well for Felix and I!
8. He is calm cool and collected!
9. He is very smart!
10. He is also very wise too!

He Cares

Chilly blast of wind.  Words spoken that strike like flint across the corridors of my heart.  "Can we go and make an appointment?" Ok. What would Zane think? A call.  An answer.  Blocks driven, to that cold tan building down the street.  So many lives go in and out.  So many unchanged by the consequences they must face.  Crime...time...what?
My child of my heart the boy whom we let in just two weeks after our "I dos" wants to see his mom.  What does that mean? Mom.  My heart is winter today.  I can not keep him from her.  I can shield and protect and guard him but, not keep him.  But, me oh me what shall I do.  I shake. I tremble.  Is it to much?  Is this the bite that can not be chewed nor swallowed?  A jail visited.  A happy boy upon the idea of seeing his mom.  Me a newlywed, a fill in mom.  How can I make sense of it?  It does not make sense...and it may never.  So, as sad as it sounds today I am winter.  It seems safer somehow to be thus.  An excuse to stay in and sheltered from I guess my sadness-es.  Yet, not all of winter is cold and drear.  There are pleasantries such as kindness, laughter and friendship that give me a glimpse of Spring times bliss.  I must learn to treasure these glimpses. 

Jesus knows.  Jesus cares. 

Winter can be survived and Spring will come....

sometime soon...

I hope, I pray.

 

My Jesus is beside me.

He holds and guides me.

Through Winters grey;

Now and alway!

 

 

 

Nothing but trust is needed here He has already proven Himself over and over!

 

 

 

 



        

The Can

THE CAN 

Ok, ok if you are a lady I am sure you have experienced this, and if you are a man you might have too.  Have you ever had an aerosol can of hair spray or something like that, and you have it poised to spray when...all you hear is pffft?  What you expected to be there was missing!  Growl moment, true? True.  You "press the button" just like you are supposed to...and pffft?  You may question yourself... Did I press the button correctly?  Is the depressor broken or stuck?  And further more if I have to replace this how much will it cost?  As you are standing there with the can poised in the air you may realize that what you thought would work for you,  just as it should, now left you disillusioned and distraught. 
This may seem a bit dramatic for hair care products or spray cheese or whatever, but, have you ever experienced this with people?  In an effort to reach out and touch a life you "press the buttons".  Kindnesses are dealt, acts of service are demonstrated, and simple words of greeting and love are proclaimed; the response pffft.  How many times can the pfft occur before one is allowed to become discouraged? 
The Bible has plenty to say about love toward, first God and secondly those around us.  We are told to love as we've been loved.  How much pouring out of ourselves is required?  I think I know the answer...all.  Right it is all?  We must expect to receive nothing (from others) in exchange for giving love.  That is it.  All is required of us, and nothing is required of the "others".  We need to hold onto the good; "that love will conquer, that eventually the pfft will be replaced by warm fuzzes".    :)
I want to raise the bar for me (so far to go here), and lower the bar for others (an equally long distance)!  I want to fall into Jesus' arms and depend only on His love and care.  He is the one who loves me deeply and best.  I want to learn to rest in Him for my all (oh my wow)!

A note:
Lest any of you think that my husband does not provide love and affection for me, that is not the case!  I am overjoyed by how much he loves me everyday.  We were just talking over lunch today about how our relationship is growing and love is abounding.  So, this post is an out pouring of my thoughts of late and not at all directed toward him. :) I am blessed in so many ways.  Jesus is close by my side.  His smile warms my heart in these extra dreary days of winter.            

Stacks

This is a post about sandwiches, 340 of them to be exact.  This is the approximate number of sandwiches that I will have made for Felix by the end of the school year.  I am also thankful for the fact that Felix likes bologna sandwiches no cheese! :) This is amazing because he is a bit of a picky eater; he also doesn't seems to weary of this culinary situation.  We can get a loaf of bread for .88, a package of bologna for .99, a big bag of chips for 1.00, and granola bars 3.50 for 18.  This makes very cheap, urrr...inexpensive lunches for a growing teenage boy!  So, today I am glad for these stacks of sandwiches!  It is a blessing.  And now you know this nugget of information about our lives!  Tee hee tra la*! :)      

 

 

 

 

 

*I grumble about this extra chore sometimes!  However, even though I am not always jolly about creating these sandwiches, I am thankful that they are inexpensive and that our boy is content to eat them :)  There are blessings in the routine of life! I want to learn to focus on the blessings more and not the monotony.   

Ducks

Ducks!

           Today Zane and I were able to extract some pictures from my digital camera.  So, I wanted to post about some pictures that were taken at the end of May.  As you know we got married at the end of June.  So, in May I packed up my house (with the help of friends), and ended my career as a school teacher.  With wedding planning, and trying to prepare mentally for our union, and also for the prospects of becoming a mother to a teenager, I was overwhelmed.  Not only was I doing all of these things but I was also preparing to leave some very precious friends I had made. In the midst of this the ducks appeared!  They will always be a fond memory of mine. 

See, at the end of the drive way to my home in Independence there was a giant nasty mud hole.  Ew!  Every time it rained the hole filled up and left me with a nasty mess; not only at the end of the drive way but, also all over my vehicle.  In some aspects the mud hole represented the stress in my life at that time.  One day I was pondering with a friend the prospects of making the mud hole look better.  We flippantly spoke of floating rubber duckies in the puddle.  We laughed off this idea and went on about our busy schedules.   

The evening of graduation my friend and next door neighbor offered me a ride to the graduation.  We took some trash from my house to the dumpster.  We drove by my house to drop off the trash can and lo and behold here is what I see...      

     These ducks were just what I needed that day!  They provided a good laugh, and a warm memory was created.  Each duck included several notes of thanks and encouragement from the teachers and students that I had worked with over the past two years.  I still think of the ducks often.  They represent something to me.  Sometimes in the midst of lives yucky mud-ness something wonderful happens.  It does not have to be costly or time consuming even.  But, it must be heart felt and meaningful! 

Today was like that as well.  We had a wonderful time just being together.  We did share some coffee (thanks to a gift card), and we "window shopped" at the mall (yes, Zane tried on a $500 coat)! It was a blast!  I am thankful for these *sigh* sort of moments! :)

I am extra thankful for the moments of pleasantness along lives path! I am thankful to God for always knowing just what and who I need!      

 

Horizon

Here we are at another Friday!  This new year is already off to a flying leap!

 

Things that will happen this year...

 

1.  Felix will earn his learners permit

(fear for this mamma figure)

His criteria:

1. Take out trash

2. Clean living room

3. No late/missed assignments

4. Shower regularly

5. Be obedient and respectful

(P.S. we have been expecting

all of these things from him

since he's lived here but, we

wanted to encourage him to

do these things without

prompting.)

 

2. Joana will get married!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(I have been asked to be the maid of honor)

WELCOME TO THE FAMILY JONATHAN STRATTON!!

I feel:

1.Honored

2. Overjoyed

3. Privileged

 

3.  Zane and I will celebrate 1 year of marriage!!

(June 28, 2014)

 

I love:

1. His godly leadership

2. His sense of humor

3.  The way he protects me

 

 

So many things are on the horizon that I cannot see

This is the way it will always be

But, This is the one thing I know

God will guide and His light will show!

 

 

 

Happy New Year!!



 

"Mom"

Three months and a few days...
I have been "a mom".  I am so amazed by this title/role.  It is a massive responsibility.  A young man's life, soul, and mind were in trusted to me. 
The process was all quite easy really.  A lawyer obtained... papers signed...we became legally his parents. 
The court room was sad. The day it was our turn to go there the schedule was running behind.  We sat and listened to several cases before ours.  Sin is a cruel task master. I cried.
Then finally, due to the efficient nature of our lawyer, he privately spoke to the judge. None of us had to stand before the judge and...he was ours.
Reality is this...he has played a huge role in my life! It is amazing to me the amount of time I spent retrieving and dropping off this young man over the past year.  It is amazing to me now that I cook, clean, and launder for him. My role is mom. 
It is equally amazing how much my heart loves him.  He doesn't see it though.  Maybe someday he will.  But, maybe he won't.
I will pray to my Father that I can love no matter what.  I will seek for my Father to continue to be my comforter.  I will hold my boy up before the throne.  Extra wisdom and grace is provided, I can count on it, because He ,Abba, is faithful.

Crying Foul

Most are familiar with the story of the boy who cried wolf.  That little rascal got everyone's attention 3 times!  Talk about being charismatic, wow, this kid had the skills.  He was lying his head off but, there was a perceived need and his "crying" worked.  Eventually though, the need was no longer perceived only but, rather a legitimate desperate cry for help.  The lad (at least in some versions) loses his life because of his lying lips.
Switching gears now...my husband enjoys playing "pick up" games of basketball.  It is my understanding that in such games people get to call their own fouls.  This I feel is totally up to the one being fouled to care enough about the offence that they speak up. 
In life like that little rascally boy we sometimes for sport or spite call out a need that isn't necessarily warranted.  Yet, as in the game sometimes legitimate "hurt" occurs.  The crisis point comes when we feel we have been fouled.  What should we express? What should be suppressed?  This is what I ponder.  And further when a "foul" is reported what should my response be? 
None of us get to say how deeply a hurt goes in another's life. Even if I "foul" someone and do not think their "cry" is legit am I not obligated to listen and respond to the need? 
These thoughts are extra scrambled this morning.  I would love to entertain any thoughts or questions from you dear ones. 
Have an extra good day!

Redeemed

Child.  This word speaks to me of vulnerability.  A blank slate.  A new start.  My brother-in-law and his wife are expecting their first child.  There is an audible buzz of excitement over the soon coming arrival of this child.  I am thrilled to have a front row seat to this chapter of their lives.  I know they (with God's guidance) will be excellent parents.
But, what about the kiddos who need a home? What about the under cared for ones?  What about the ones that don't know proper love? 
I call it untrained love.  You've seen it in the hollow eyes of children you've seen in your Sunday school rooms, the grocery store, or the park.  While we grasp the hands of our darlings what about the others?  Sometimes we get a chance to reach beyond the cracked and tattered exterior and attempt to touch the cold hearts of these lost children. 
What will their response be?  I call it King Louie syndrome.  Love is risky business.  When we attempt to love as Jesus loves us the result is not guaranteed.  This is because each person makes his/her own choices.  So, sometimes the response of "untrained" love is a bit of a spoiled nature.  This must compel us to work hard to love anyway (after all it is not all about us).  I know about wanting to give up on loving.  But, then I think about redemption.  We are greatly loved.  We must pass the love we were freely given on to others.  Jesus loved us when we were so very cracked and tattered.  He does not give up. In fact, He gave the ultimate sacrifice of love. 
For shame to me should I strive to do less.  My prayer is that Jesus would help me to love all who walk across the threshold of our home and church ant etc. I am wanting to live with an attitude of redemption. 

Extra Ugly

Sometimes things get ugly! I don't have it together. I think I am learning though if I wait on my Jesus not lagging behind or pushing ahead He will help the ugly.  I want Him to work on me! Always in all ways! 

Worth It

Whirly twirly swish and swirl!  A quick swab of the deck, a batch of brownies, and an invitation later and we have ourselves an instant party!  It is so worth it to make the connections with our church family! 
Note to self: make the effort.  In all aspects of my life I am discovering that a little extra effort goes a long way!  It is worth it! 
Here is a picture of 3 amazing boys. I just thought I would share they make me smile:

The Race

Today we went to a festival in the town were Zane grew up. My my my it was interesting.  Mom and Dad Hurst picked us up a little after 9 am this morning.  The festivities kicked off with a delightful parade.  I am always so proud to see our nations flag leading the way!  I also love to see the horses.  It was a very nice parade.
Then came the turtle race!!! For real, they had a huge circle. They put all the turtles in a make shift fence then when it was time they removed the fence and the turtles were off! There were over 100 of the little guys!  Everyone seemed to really be enthralled with the race. It was rather thrilling I must admit :). 
Of course that race made me think of life.  It seems like we are all always racing about.  Well, I should get personal and say I feel the intensity of the race very keenly at times.  It is in these moments that my guard is down. It is then that I snap at my boy whom I love so dearly.  Why?  I have a theory.  I think it is because we weren't made for the short race.  When we focus on the short race we get short sighted.  We were instead made to run the long race.  Running with patients like Paul talks about so often. 
I don't want to quit the race or really even to rest.  I want to learn to run swifty and efficiently.  I want to be well equipped with good running tools. So, I read and pray and praise more.  I apologize and serve more. I follow my Jesus closer.  I run the race. Not the rat style one but the heaven bound one.  With Jesus' help I do better next time because I am learning to run consistently.
My boy and my husband witness my race every day.  They are extra patient with this gal and I am grateful.  God is helping the three of us on our journey together!

Hide It

Hide  It

Do you ever feel like things hide in your home? Not creepy people of course but objects? It seems to me that we are always  hunting for something. Socks are the main thing that elude us :) The pictures on the left all have a small story.

  The top one is zucchini brownies! They were yummy. It was so fun to hide some veggies in brownies :). 

The next picture is of Felix's backpack. By the time we went school suply shopping hello kitty was  nearly the only kind left. Our 15 year old was not having any of that. So, through a near run in literally we met a lady who suggested another store were we found  two backpacks for the price of one! 

  Next, is a caculator. Some of you may know these calculators cost around 90 dollars. Felix needed one for school. We had nearly given up hope of finding Zane's old one then...Zane and I were talking with his sister and she knew right were it was!! 

Thinking about hideing things made me think of trust.  We don't have to try to hide from God we can trust that He knows us best. Including how to love and discipline us best! I want to run to that kind of relationship! I want my true self to be found and developed by my Jesus. There is so much joy in this journey with Him! I once was lost but now I am found was blind but now I see!  Extra excitement!

Ten

Ten
Extra! Extra! :) It is a thrill to have 10 plates to wash this morning!  Last night we were privileged to have the Fenn family join us for dinner.  There are 5 of them.  They lift my spirits and bless my life every time I see them.  I must needs brag on the training they have given their 3 precious kiddos! After the meal they each took their plates to the sink! It was very refreshing.  I would have gladly cleared all the dishes from the table but, I felt so warm and fuzzy about their kind gesture! :) We were also blessed to have two of Felix's cousins joining us.  It was a joy to have all of these fine people around our table.
A little extra food, time, and energy made a big difference in my week. I'm so thankful today for the warmth of friendship.  A dish is a dish and soon they will be washed, dried, and put away but, my warm memories the potential of carrying me through rough patches. Thank you Jesus for the "extra" of friendship.

Flip-a-roo!

The Flip Side
Every year since I was six I have gone to school except two.  The first year I didn't go to a school building I did take several online courses. Then there is this year...I am dropping my child off at school. Wait a moment...how did I manage to skip to this stage.  It is a bit like those games where you roll the dice and jump ahead however, this is no game.
On August 19th my husband and I after being married not quite 2 months obtained legal gaurdianship of the young man in the picture.  He is one of the extras. I am humbled by the thought of parenting him.  God is faithful.  I know I can trust Him!
So, this buisness of flipping...I once the teacher have now joined the ranks of parents. It is my prayer that God would bless my boy this year. I pray that God will be with the teachers at the school. This I pray beliving God for the good things...the extras.

Welcome!

The phrase the extras has been tumbling around in my head like a pair of tennis shoes in the dryer.  You know the sound well...thump the thump the thump.  I feel like my life is full of the extras. This as a general rule is a positive thing.  For, you see these extras work like sand to oysters.  The very thing that is rough and uncomfortable at times has the ability to shape one of the rarest most beautiful stones.  So, the extras are shaping this "oyster" and one day I trust sooner rather than later I'll be something pretty too.  It is through the ups and downs that the extras bring, that beauty can be formed and cultivated.
At this point it may be hard to understand what I mean by "the extras.". I think I am still in discovery mode myself.   However, I wanted to share this journey with the extras and I, with you. I hope we enjoy the ride.
 Welcome!